Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Did you pee in the oven last night??
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
