There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
