just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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