but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I think I just sharted jello shots
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