u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
