and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
