last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
