i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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