dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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