The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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