I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
