found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
