My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
