Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
