Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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