so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
