in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well you can't waste a boner
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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