We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
