So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
