I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We talked him into tasing himself.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
