i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
