this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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