Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
