Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
