If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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