I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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