I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
