ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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