I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I skipped work to stalk him.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
