they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
