So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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