That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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