I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
