i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
