I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
