i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
