And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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