Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
