I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You ruined the universe
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
