You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
