No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
