Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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