your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
