A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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