Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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