I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Even my vagina gasped.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
