I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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