he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
