it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
