Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So apparently I’m into choking now
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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