if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
