i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
