It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My feet surprised me
Randomize
