We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
