Sponge bath it is.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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