I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
