did you get engaged???
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
