Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Randomize