it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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