i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
