your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
