she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
