Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the day after is always just damage control
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
