The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
