I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
